Officially O'Dellicious Salsa. A How To.

          When Margaret and I first planted a garden a few months ago my major contribution (besides cheer leading) was to buy a small roma tomato plant and a jalepeno plant. The roma tomato has been by far our most successful plant and has yielded probably 15 tomatoes. We only got about 7 jalepenos, but a little jalepeno goes a long way. My original idea was to make my own salsa once these plants bore fruit and so last Sunday I decided it was time.

           In the interest of complete honesty, let me explain something here. I like to drink. I find life much more interesting when under the influence of alcohol. I know it isn't a healthy habit, nor a mature one, and it's something I've been attempting to curb. I drink far less than I used to, and set little markers to make dates to take the next step. A large part of it is vanity - I've seen what people who drink a lot look like when they get older. I've realized that my, "trigger" or whatever for drinking is that life is so damn boring. My mind runs a thousand miles a minute and I rarely find enough things to occupy it. As a step in my reduction of alcohol consumption I've been trying to fill my time with enough inane projects as possible. I rented a carpet cleaner and cleaned our carpet. I've watched Margaret work on the nursery. I find random things to clean or rearrange. I bought 10 history books and have been plowing through them. And I decided it was salsa making time.

         I reviewed many different recipes I found on the Internet and kind of pulled bits and pieces of each to make what I thought would be good. It was delicious. It really is a smashing success and therefore if you follow my exact steps you will be able to create what Mag (and she never compliments me about anything) termed, "The best salsa I've ever eaten." 

These are the ingredients I started with - roma tomatoes, jalepeno peppers, fresh cilantro, an onion, lime juice, and (not pictured) garlic (that comes in a jar, whatever that's called) and salt. I want to reiterate - those tomatoes and peppers came from our garden. 

Step One: I diced up the jalepenos. Cut off the tip, so they can stand up vertically, and then cut down each side to get the meat off, leaving a core of seeds. Dice up the meat. 

Step Two: I started some water boiling and put a bowl of ice water next to it. I'd drop the tomatoes in the boiling water for about a minute, and then take them out and put them in the ice water for another minute. When I pull them out of the ice water I just kind of dig in a fingernail to pierce the skin, and then I can peel the  skin right off. Most of the recipes I found just said to leave the skin on the tomatoes, but I found one or two that said it makes the salsa chewy, and besides I like making things more difficult. After peeling the tomatoes I cut the meat off and diced it up. 

Peeled tomatoes, sliced jalepenos.

Step Three: I cut up about a third of that big onion and got it all diced into small pieces.
Step Four: Time for the cilantro! Just go crazy on that leafy greenness! Hold the stalks in one hand and act like a wild heathen, ripping the leaves off with wild abandon. Then gather all the leaves together and chop them up and add them to the mix.

Tomato, onion, cilantro, and jalepeno. DICED.

Step Five: Add the lime juice and salt. I honestly can't remember how much I put in. I think I put in a tablespoon of lime juice and two teaspoons of salt. The salt was more than most recipes call for, but I like salt. 

Step Six: Mix it all together (with your filthy little mitts, like I did).

Step Seven: Enjoy. Your satisfaction at being a pretend Mexican will only be exceeded by the delicious taste of your very own homemade salsa. I suppose you can buy tomatoes (but they're never good) and jalapenos, but roma tomatoes are so easy to grow and basically take care of themselves so why not just plant some? 

            This salsa really is so delicious. As you can see by the picture it's not a paste based salsa, but it is Delicious. As. Hell. The only thing I'll do differently next time (and I'm planning to plant like three tomato and five jalapeno plants next year) is roast the peppers before I dice them. I put in like five jalapenos, and the salsa really isn't very spicy at all. (A Brief Rant on Spiciness: Men, since we have to make everything into a competition, have somehow set up spicy peppers to be a barometer of manliness. I used to hate spicy stuff, but I've grown to like it. However, I like it for the flavor it adds, not because it makes me awesome and strong to be able to stand it. If you want to have a spicy eating contest let's do it with just spices, let's not ruin other food with it. I had a Subway sandwich today with jalapenos on it and they overpowered the rest of the tastes. That's just stupid. A spice should complement the rest of the meal, not over power it. If guitar is your favorite instrument than you want to hear a song that showcases guitar, not a song where the guitar is just turned up three times as loud as all other instruments). Anyway, I hear that roasting peppers brings out some more spiciness so I'll try that. 

             Seriously though, this salsa is great. As an additional word to any guys out there that read this - being able to cook something, even it's just some weird thing that no one ever eats, immediately vaults you to amazing heights in the estimation of all females. It's great to buy a girl flowers or whatever, but the most important key to getting girls is to work on yourself - what makes you more attractive? It's a much better investment in the long term anyhow. 

             Advice on drinking, salsa making, and getting girls all in one post. O'Dellicious.