Hate Muslim Hate

                I wanted to try to get back on schedule this week and actually write about this weekend's movies and some other movies I've seen lately - I've been watching The Shield which is excellent television, and finally saw Tron Legacy which I assume was bad, but I don't really know because I didn't even realize it had ended as the credits are exactly like the movie - neon flashes on a black background, I also watched I Love You Phillip Morris which was so amazing I texted Clayton repeatedly until he rented it and watched it (he even sent me a picture message of the rented DVD with the caption, "And I just got off work 8 minutes ago"). There's even a 15 year old Mark Wahlberg movie I watched recently that I want to share my thoughts on. However, three things kept me from writing up a Friday movie post and those are A) I have no clue what movies are coming out this weekend B) I haven't seen a single movie released in 2011 and C) I wanted to write about this instead.

              I hate racism. I know this is a super edgy and risky stand to take, but I really do. I'm racist, and I admit it, but I think we all are to some extent or another. Part of it, let's face it, is smart. It's called profiling, and every single creature on this big blue marble engages in it in some way. A cat chases a chipmunk yet runs from a dog for a reason. A woman feels more fear when jogging alone in a secluded area when she sees a crazed meth head brandishing a machete than she does when she sees an old lady cleaning up dog crap. None of this is racism, but it's called smarts - you consciously or sub-consciously engage in threat assessment based on a variety of factors. It ain't pretty, but sometimes a factor in that threat assessment is race. This isn't ideal, but it's fact, and statistics bear out those facts. The exact races shake out differently in different countries and societies.

              Now, that disclaimer aside, let me continue. I'm racist in the way I just described. It isn't something I want, it's something I'm working through, and it's something I'm owning up to. However, I'm not racist in the fact that I don't believe that any person is better or worse than any other person based on the color of their skin, or the place of their birth, or the nationality of their parents. Everyone says they aren't racist, but let's face it, like 99.9% (we only use true and accurate scientific statistics at O'Dellicious) of all people are to some extent. Now I love the South, and I love Georgia, and I have many and varied opinions on the place of my birth and residence, but damn folks, you are all racist as hell.

             Racism doesn't shock me so much, but the outright unashamed proclamation of racism does. I don't know if it's part of being raised a certain (non-racist) way and then reaching adulthood and being exposed to all the dumbasses that populate this state or what, but over the past year or so people have been really surprising me, and not in a good way. I always assumed that people were racist, but that people were subtle about their racism - aw naw. Lately people say the most racist stuff in front of me, and not just when their drunk, and not just when their telling jokes. This offends me for a couple of reasons: A) Grow the up, assholes, and B) WHY DO YOU ASSUME I AGREE WITH YOUR RACIST VIEWS JUST BECAUSE I'M WHITE?

         When my lovely nubile little (white) wife and I went to the local babywatching robot place recently, I made small talk with the unlovely large (white) lady who was extremely sweet and charming as my wife changed into a hospital gown. The lady (we'll call her Ms. America) asked me a pretty normal question: "Okay, I just have to ask, what does your shirt say?" It is a red shirt written in a different language and I told her, "I don't know really. My grandma got it for me in a different country, like Thailand or something. It's John 3:16 or some other Bible verse." So far so good. Then she says, "Oh good. I just wanted to make sure you weren't one of them Muslim sympathizers." In the interest of honesty I'll admit that I didn't reply. I can argue that it was out of shock, or out of self-consideration (after all, she was about to insert some sort of futuristic camera inside of my wife) but really it was out of cowardice. I have this problem that is charitably known as self-centeredness where I don't really care about anyone else or their opinions. I have a ton of opinions on people and society as a whole, but on an individual basis I don't really pay attention to their views and opinions or try to change them. I'm pretty much nice to everyone who is nice to me, which is why I could put up with Clayton's satanic ex-girlfriend no matter how horrible she was (until she started spreading awful rumors about him, which is when I called her up and delivered my punishing blow: "you've been a goddamn liar since the day I met you, but this time you went too far." ). Let's be reasonable here for a moment though - this lady, knowing nothing about me except that I was white and lived in Georgia, assumed that I would share her racist views.

           A few weekends ago I watched a SUPER SPECIAL REPORT on CNN about a Muslim synagogue (racist joke alert!) that some hadjis were trying to build in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. The community, typically, threw a snit-fit and declared it to be the end of the world and tried everything they could to stop it. They vandalized the property, set the equipment on fire, and then tried the super subtle method of, "Oh we're concerned that that particular location might cause more traffic then the two lane road can handle." I, of course, want to go fish out my childhood baseball bat out of the pool I threw it into four Halloweens ago and start beating ass, but instead I pour out my frustrations into this blog (and Halo Reach. Gamertag xCrackWilsonx if you wanna go). This isn't a blog to address every problem non-Muslims have with Muslims,  and then my defense or support of each claim, as that would go on forever (literally, as this has been going on for several thousand years already) but things have been getting a little silly. Folks don't seem to realize that every single time a majority has hated on (for lack of a better term) a minority based on something like race or religion, history has proven them (the majority) to be a bunch of old jerks. We already did this with the Irish, the Africans, the French, the Mexicans, and now the Muslims. Yeah, I bet this time will be different. If I was 80 years old now I would want to be able to tell my children, grand children, and great grand children that I supported the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s - can people not really see even five years into the future?

            Let's get one thing straight - the Muslim religion didn't attack us on 9/11. Al qaeda did. When the British government was being bombed by the Irish Republican Army a generation ago they didn't declare war on Catholicism, and try to outlaw the Catholic church, the used police work to fight back against the IRA. I think there are problems with the Muslim religion, and with specific interpretations of that religion, but that isn't enough to ignore the ideals this country was founded upon. One of the nicest people I know is a Muslim, and she asks about my life, my wife, my unborn child, my garden, and shows much more concern for me than any other semi-stranger that I've met. That's anecdotal evidence, to be sure, but if I was a racist I'd never enjoy the relationship that I have.

           This is all a bit of a rant, to be sure, and I'm a coward, as I've admitted, but I'll leave you with a small minor victory that I had to balls to achieve over the distancing medium of Facebook. It contains my wonderful use of obscenities, so tap out now if you don't like that sort of thing.

Original Poster: "So, Muslims now have more rights in America than Christians do? Screw you, Obama. I repeat, SCREW YOU. In my head, I just spit in your face twenty three times, you ignorant, effing IMBECILE."
Some other folk: I hate him!
Some other folk: What do you mean more rights?
 OP: Allowing the Muslims to have a day of prayer on the capitol grounds, then getting rid of the national day of prayer because he doesn't want to offend anyone pretty much proves my point. The end.
My Delicious Self: Uh no, Christians can pray on Capitol grounds too. That's called equal rights, the foundation of America.
A LOT OF OTHER COMMENTS THAT AREN'T WORTH COPYING HAPPENS HERE, AND AT OTHER POINTS.
My Delicious Self: I think two different ideas are being conflated here - like Barfield said, anyone can hold a ceremony with a permit, that's issue one, and on that issue I think we can agree equal rights are being given to all. Issue two is the National Day of Prayer, which was recognized traditionally by some past Presidents (and declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court) but not by Obama. Viewing this as an affront to Christianity reveals that one thinks that the national religion is Christianity, rather than the ability to choose one's own religion. Obama isn't ignoring Christianity by choosing not to hold a public ceremony on, "prayer day" he's treating all religions equally. The end?
Some Random Dummy: islam is an extremist religion. basically muhammad changed christianity inot an extreme religion as it picked up followers because he was upset that they wouldn't follow him to begin with. Islam is an extreme religion. you'd know that if you had a moral basis rather than a wishy washy acceptance of everyone. although i don't agree with [the original poster's] approach, she is right... (AFTER THIS HE POSTED SAYING THAT HE IS BOTH ANTI-OBAMA AND ANTI-MUSLIM)
My Delicious Self: I'm not sure if you're addressing me, [Some Random Dummy], but in reply, A) there are extreme factions in every religion - some more violent than others. I personally feel that in the modern era America is much more threatened (through violence) by Muslim extremists than extremists in other religions. I do not, however, think that Islamic terrorists represent the majority, or anywhere close to it, of Muslims. I also don't see what any of this has to do with freedom of religion in America, unless you are saying you're against the constitutional right of freedom of religion. B) If you are talking to me, go fuck yourself.
Some Random Dummy: well, andrew i am saying give all or none to all or none, no taking from some and saying that we can't call ourselves christian, then giving a Special treatment to others and calling it freedom... please find a more adult way of showing your consternation with me... than fowl language...
My Delicious Self:  If you're saying I have no moral basis, and just, "a wishy washy acceptance of everyone" then I voiced my consternation exactly as I wished to. If that wasn't addressed to me, then my comment wasn't addressed to you. As for the, "none to all" thing, I think I agree with it, as far as I can understand it. I don't really see how it applies to the National Day of Prayer, but I do agree with it. 



      

               That was the end of the argument, so therefore I consider it a victory. Also (and this is just being petty here) Some Random Dummy isn't quite random, as I've met him once before, at a house party where he challenged my 17 year old brother to a rum shot contest which ended with my brother probably acting idiotic, but with Some Random Dummy puking off of the back deck. And that, sweet meat, is what I call O'Dellicious.

Fatherhood the Blog - Week 9

                   My widdle bitty baby is now 9 weeks old. Now I realize some people use the term, "widdle bitty" a bit loosely, but I mean it literally. My child is now officially the size and weight of a peanut. I know peanuts come in many shapes and sizes, but so do babies, so go screw your clever little self.

            People (and by people I mean guys) like to joke around about some hilarious tropes and cliches regarding women in general, and pregnancy specifically. When I was engaged I got all sorts of helpful advice such as, "Every time you have sex during your first year of marriage put a coin in a jar. After your one year anniversary take a coin out of the jar every time you have sex. You'll never run out of coins for the rest of your marriage!" (for the record, I don't carry cash). As soon as, "the fellas" discovered my wife was knocked up they got very excited about the misery I would soon be enduring (by proxy) - the hysteria, the bizarre cravings, the lack of sleep, the lack of sex, etc. Well, we all know that all stereotypes have a basis in reality (especially the racist ones) and let me tell you something - pregnant women are crazy. I know being pregnant must suck for the girl, but, as I've said many times through my always objective mouth, it's even worse for the guy. See, the girl has tons of stuff to put up with, but you know what they get in return? Unlimited amounts of sympathy and a free pass for whatever they do. A guy may only have one thing to put up with (the woman) but he gets no sympathy whatsoever.

               Margaret and I have had some of the greatest fights of our eight year history during the past week. In complete honesty, I don't remember what a single one of them was about, but trust me, they were amazing. Several times during the week the arguments have taken a turn for the truly strange to the point that I almost thought that I was being punked or something. It's difficult to argue while restraining a smile. Mag got her wisdom teeth out earlier this year and I was super excited about how crazy I expected her to act while dealing with the after-effects of the anesthesia . She acted completely normal and I was severely disappointed, but thankfully she's making up for it now in spades. Ya know I love ya honey (if you're reading this) but you have been pretty damn crazy a few days this week.

            I'm beginning to realize something about fatherhood that is terrifying me already. See, one criticism I've often leveled at parents (usually my own, since I don't spend a great deal of time criticizing other people's parents, except the parents of every single child I see at Wal-mart) is that after they have a child they become more connected to the child than to the person they had the child with. This makes sense on a lot of different levels but it isn't something that I want for myself. Let's face it, Margaret is a girl I fell in love with back in 2002 and remain in love with today - she's someone with her own family and past and life and loves who chose me, and was chosen by me. This is a great and beautiful thing of course, but this little ball of cells growing in her belly is me. It shares DNA with me, and with Margaret, and I'll experience this life from the very beginning. Of course I'm going to have a connection with him or her that is very different than my connection with Mag.

             Different is okay, of course, but the danger is using my new connection with my child to replace my connection with my wife as a source of emotional fulfillment. Why would I do this? Because having a relationship with an innocent little fat creature that can't talk and depends entirely on me for protection, guidance, and provision is a hell of a lot easier than having a relationship with an adult with their own desires, fears, and opinions. This is the coward's way out, and something I'm determined to avoid, but I think an easy trap to fall into. I'm not saying this is what all parents do, but I think it's something I could do and something that I don't want to do. There's no love hierarchy, where love of my wife comes first, and then love of my firstborn, and then love of my second born, and then love of my half-Lithuanian lovechild, and then love of my cats, and then love of booze, and then love of my other half-Lithuanian lovechild. My heart is huge and ever-expanding - there's no danger that I'm not going to fall deeply in love with this kid, but there is a possibility that I use it to replace the connection I have with my wife.

              Beyond this, it isn't fair for the kid either. He/she didn't ask to be conceived, or to be born, or to have such a good looking father. This world and this life is something that I'm pushing on the child, not something that they specifically requested when they visited me in a dream from their little cloud in stork pre-heaven. It isn't fair for me to already be burdening the ornery cherub with my issues, or with my hopes and dreams. I spend a lot of time driving on my own, and as you can tell this child occupies my thoughts about 85% of the time (also known as the percentage of dance scenes in which Natalie Portman did her own dancing in Black Swan).

              A quick update on the dirty physical stuff: the baby is going to double in size this week, and can now hiccup as well as do somersaults. The somersaults will probably grow more difficult to perform shortly, as it's little fish fins are turning into arms and legs and growing finger and toenails. Most importantly, this little peanut now has balls or ovaries. Why it needs them so early I don't know, but ya got 'em kid. Use them wisely.

Latest sonogram image.