I, Clayton O'Dell, Ruler of the Weak and Impoverished, Healer of None, First of His Name, do declare this day that I am going to the beach. Within the hour I'll be skipping town (probably a good prospect, considering the tornado sirens have gone off three times within the past twelve hours) and heading down to Destin with a trio of dear, dear friends. While down there I plan to, in descending order of importance, gtl (without the g or the l), eat delicious seafood, see TT, drink, finish reading A Clash of Kings, sleep, clip my toenails, buy a stupid beach thing, see a manta ray, get stung by a jellyfish, and see Phan Phan. As all men, know, however, it is often the leprechaun's pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that is more enticing than the rainbow itself, and the jeweled beach at the end of the modest four hour drive is far more desireable than the driving itself. But fear not, what's an O'Dell if he can't make up inane activities designed both to erase boredom and hear himself talk?
To make the trip down to Destin more interesting, I have designed a game that I like to call, quite unoriginally, The Lottery. The Lottery requires a buy-in that I have decided shall not exceed $50 cash, though I'm not fully certain as to how much cash I actually want to put in. I have $34 in my wallet leftover from tips this week, so that'll be my starting fund and seeing as how awful my luck continues to be, I may add a $20 bill to the experiment.
Apparently cars need gas to run. Apparently gas stations sell gas at their stations. I always thought that gas stations were designed to purchase underpriced fountain beverages, overpriced candy, regular priced cigarettes, and who-cares-what-priced lottery tickets, but regular people also go to gas stations to purchase gas. Throughout the course of our journey today I believe that we shall stop at a gas station at least twice, presumably for gas, and I plan to stretch my modelesque young legs by marching into the gas station and purchasing a lottery ticket.
Here's the catch, though. I'm required to purchase the dollar amount in lottery tickets on whatever the last mile is on Aaron (the driver)'s car when we stop. His car is new (and beautiful) and therefore has low miles, so if, for example, we stop at a QT when his car has 3017 miles on it, I have to purchase either a $7 lottery ticket (do they make those?!) or a combination of tickets to equal $7. I will be constricted to lottery purchase made outside of Destin, both on the way in and the way out, and every time we stop at a place that sells lottery tickets I'm required to purchase one.
We'll see how quickly the money runs out. Either I get very lucky and have to buy only $1 or $2 tickets the entire trip, or my luck runs out when the gas does and I have to buy $9 or $10 worth of tickets at each stop. Regardless I know I won't win any money, so I might as well hope to spend less on tickets.
I'll report back to my loyal readers sometime next week with PICTURES of the lottery tickets, the gas stations they (and gas) were purchased at, and perhaps even pictures of my earnings through The Lottery. Hold your breath.
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