Lil Wayne vs. Gucci Mayne
Growing up in New Orleans, Lil Wayne's career began blossoming at the tender young age of 15, really taking off when he deluged the internet with "mix tapes" before releasing Tha Carter III in 2008. At this point Weezy F. Baby was sitting on top of the world, a certified pothead midget toad-voiced genius, guesting on every song on the radio, running his own label, and raking in millions. Which means, based on the universal law of gravity, it was time to start heading back down. He released a horrible "rock" album, got busted carrying a gun (he's pretty gangster and was once shot in the chest...by himself by accident when he was 12 years old) and went to jail for a year. He got out not long ago but has since remained pretty quiet, releasing a few raps that he wrote while in the clink that come nowhere near to measuring up to his former greatness. He's due for a comeback, but while he was gone rap morphed into a new genre - Gay Rap. Chris Brown, Jason DeRulo, Taio Cruz, Drake, and a few others have pushed the high-voiced poppy emo rap to the forefront of the, "black music" genre, inheriting more from Justin Timberlake than they did from Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne is due for a comeback, but so far it's all been talk.
An Atlanta based rapper who talks as if he's full up of every single drug that has ever been used since the time of the Neandrathal and has a mouth full of marbles, Gucci Mane is probably more famous for his ridiculous name than he is for his ridiculous music, and for driving his Lamborghini at insanely high speeds in circles around Atlanta on I-285 and being surprised when he gets pulled over and arrested for having a carload of drugs. After he got out of jail he released an album titled, "The State vs. Radric Davis" which I own, and which has only one good song on it (the one on which he is featured the least). He has an upcoming album titled, "The Appeal: Georgia's Most Wanted." Thankfully the drugs have finally wormed their way far enough into his brain and body to propel him to a level where he doesn't just do the normal things drug addicts do - you know, slur their words, not sleep for days and then sleep for several days straight, break things, be annoying, etc. but a level where he can legitimately be declared insane. On January 4th of this year a judge ordered him to check into a psychiatric hospital, and upon release he immediately went to a tattoo parlor and posted a picture to his Twitter feed of his new tattoo: an ice cream cone on his face. An ice cream cone on. his. face. No further questions, your honor.
Results:
Lil Wayne's O'Delliciousness comes mostly from his incredible swagger. He declares himself to be, "the greatest rapper in the world" and then backs up that claim. While I wouldn't say that the O'Dellicious swagger even begins to approach that level, we do retain the ability to make a claim to greatness in a particular area and then, through the mystical powers of our ancestors, follow through on that claim. However the inability to sustain greatness subtracts a lot of points from this column.
Gucci Mane, at first glance, has many more cons (so punny!) than pros, but he does beat Lil Wayne in one area - instead of becoming obscure (and I'm not saying Lil Wayne won't come back bigger than before, that's a possibility, but we're in the present, not the future) he went batshit crazy. He wasn't good enough to begin with to ever become bad, so to devolve he just turned loony. Normally, Lil Wayne would win this one hands down, but it's hard to not respect someone who tattoos a permanent ice cream cone on the side of his face that will remain there until the day he dies.
WINNER:
 |
| Yes, there are lightning bolts shooting from behind the cone, and yes, it says, "Brrr" on it. |
GUCCI MANE!
Another round one match up will also be posted today, if Clayton ever gets off of his lazy ass.
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